Nuffnang

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

一个人

一个人

静静地

望着天空

看着星星

看着月亮



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给蚊子咬。。。(=.=''')

快乐的泉源

我真在寻找快乐的泉源.

虽然我答应大家,我会快乐的.

可是,我始终找不到快乐的原因.

也许,我再次迷失了我的方向.

就好像当初,中学刚毕业,却无法如愿到音乐学校完成我的梦想的感觉.

所以,我才会过于把自己寄托在某些事情上.

就算有时苦苦的,总觉得为一个人付出,也是一件很美好的事情.

就因为这样,自己的生活被对方牵着走了.

因为原本的自己,也根本没有生活的目标.

就这样每天过着

快要21岁了

心智却还像个小孩

应该说

我希望我还是个小孩

无忧无虑的小孩

很容易满足的小孩

Jiayi's Life

Q.What crazy things have you ever done in your life?
A.Seriously, i cant think of any. I used to lead a peaceful life. Or should i say, PLAIN life?
I was thinking to did one last time, but i was not giving a chance to do so. I didn't have the guts to do so as well. And now i think that i m actually lucky that i don't have the chance to do so, else i will be regretting for my stupid action that i did now.

Q.What silly things have you ever done in your life?
A. Wow, that's a lot. its countless. And i don't even bother to remember what was those silly things that i've done. Its way too embarrassing to remember them. I used to be so naive and clumsy, of course there re toooooo much silly things that i CAN do. LOL

Q.What is the hardest things that you have to overcome in your life?
A. Ok. There re 3.
1st. Sense of direction
I can still lost my way in the neighbourhood that i ve lived for 10++ years.
I spend 1 month to remember the route to my class with MAP when i 1st enter my Uni.

2nd. Driving
Yea. I got my license. And of course I can drive. Manual car some more! I can change the gear very smoothly.
BUT
I can't do side parking, reverse parking,
i can't measure the distance between my car and car beside me,
i dunno how to overtake cars, i got a phobia to drive on highway,
last but not least , i can't remember the route to the destination!

yea, i know i am lame T_T

3rd Programming
The subject that i hate the most in my life!
I spent a miserable Uni life becuz of IT!
I will always end up with crying face when I need to do the assignment or prepare for the exam.
I will get really emo everytime when I face the codes.
I did try to work on it during my beta years. I thought nothing can beat me.
I carried the programming books everywhere.
But i only can master it theoretically, but not practically!
So, i decided to give up.
It was the reason that i hope to graduate asap from this university.
Screw you programming!

Q.What is the easiest thing in your life?
A.Sleep. Eat.

Yea. I used to sleep well and eat well.
I love to sleep and i love to eat.

Miraculously, Lazy bum having insomnia for the 1st time in her 20 years life!
yea, It happened once.
I swear there are nothing running in my brain that night!
Or maybe, i was thinking about SOMETHING unconsciously...
SOMETHING was too bad that give me a sleepless night...

I lost my appetite sometimes, when i was in really really bad mood.
But Sometime i will try to eat a lots of food to overcome my bad mood.
I know that was wrong. But it is better than i eat nothing right?

1.Insommia + Lost appetite = thin
2.Sleep Well + Eat a lot = fat

I will choose the 1st one! I rather to become a vampire than a fat ass :(

Sunday, March 29, 2009

心情日记

为什么,有些人能那么会掩饰?
而我却让人家能一眼看穿我。

有时我也想把自己复杂的思绪藏起来。
可是我就是做不到。
把真实的情绪,真实的自己隐藏起来
让我觉得好累好烦

我也曾经努力地让自己不被别人看透
也想过伪装另一个自己来保护自己
终究还是不成功
以为我还是无法让自己带着面具做人
虽然那样会比较快乐,比较不容易受伤害
可是
我还是做不到
太差劲

至少
我现在要让自己看起来没有那么哀愁
若无其事地适应现在的生活

=================================================

我后悔了
还是后悔了
可是我没有第三个选择
放弃梦想 选择用逃避来忘记
是懦弱的表现
我还是懦弱
我害怕会让逐渐恢复的伤口再度崩开

虽然很不愿意
很不甘愿
可是我选择退出了
放弃了我的机会
我喜欢的东西
来治愈我那可悲的自尊
和心灵

=================================================

我突然想关闭这里
不想让太多人知道我的事情
我不想连唯一能抒发情绪的地方
也被人监视着
被人批评着

到头来
我还是无法不写出一些emo的文章
这就是我
我无法把自己改变得很开朗
就算 表面看起来很开朗
在内心深处
始终住着一个悲伤的自己
不是因为最近发生了什么事
而是就算得到幸福也会活在悲伤中的悲情女子
LOL

只有这样的自己
才能创造更多的作品不是吗?
虽然都是悲伤的作品
可是
我还满乐在其中的
呵呵
乐于让自己活在悲伤世界的自己

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Love at 1st sight

I immediately fall in love with the Juicy Couture Bags at first sight!
They re just ToooooOOOO Cute!

Well, before that i never know that they are branded since they looks so cute and young, totally different with those Guess or LV bags (which kinda Suitable for "Older" woman XD)

I ' m thinking to get a imitation ... but I heard some comments that said the imitation of JC is kinda yucky... Well, i think i ve to wait till i get my 1st salary to buy it, i wonder how long i need to wait? haih ...

The low quality imitation already cost more than RM 50, AA quality cost more than RM150, how do u think about the authentic one? LOL!






Tell me how could i resist these piano series bag/pencil case?
Now I m blaming myself for being poor T__T
They are just toooooooooo Attractive ><

世界で最も醜いの男

世界で最も醜い男はどのような男ですか?


喫煙の男です!



喫煙の男が嫌い!
大嫌い!!
大嫌い!!!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

high high high

omg... i shouldn't sing this song during the CNYE banquet... the lyrics just so ...
i started to be superstitious T________T

  • 歌曲:High High High

    歌手:张惠妹

    High High High

    Dancing tonight

    跟著音乐在摇摆, 我的心跳加快.

    看到你走过来, 你问我说我们是否见过,

    我很想说有,可是我说没有.

    你是我一见就爱上的人,

    你说的话让我越陷越深.

    我有点怕,你的爱情不真,

    Ya makin me hot,

    怎么教我忍.


  • Oh, 你的 Love Love Love,

    让我爱又不敢爱.

    怎么做, 怎么说,

    我不愿受伤害.

    High High, into the Sky,

    你的爱让我的心 High 起来,

    把我心窗打开.


  • Crazy tonight,

    今晚心情那么坏,实在是想不开.

    你看我心不在.我对你说我不愿意再犯错,

    如果不能有,那就不要有.

    你是我一见就爱上的人,

    你说的话似乎有点天真.

    我真的怕,失去爱的分寸.

    Ya makin me hot,怎么教我忍.


  • Oh, 你的 Love Love Love,

  • 让我爱又不敢爱.

  • 怎么做, 怎么说,

    我不愿受伤害.

    High High, into the Sky,

    你的爱让我的心 High 起来,

    把我心窗打开.

    Oh 你的 Love Love Love,

    让我爱又更想爱.

    怎么做, 怎么说,

    我不愿受伤害.

    High High, into the Sky,

    你的爱给我翅膀飞起来,

    飞过寂寞的海.

  • Rap:
  • high~high~high,

    你让我越来越high~high~high.

    你让我爱的更highhighhigh,

    你让我更想跟你~嗯~嗯~嗯.

a-mei 你的热情, 让我爱的过火,
  • 每个男人看到你, 都想要接近你.

    你就像一个, 超级辣的太后.

    你的魅力, 让我需要急救.


I will Survive

Love this song!
i Should sing this song everyday... ^^
I WILL SURVIVE!!! ^^

i ve set it as the 1st song in my playlist.
But it is a cover version by Hiro (Speed) in her jazz album.

Gloria Gaynor » I Will Survive Lyrics


First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

Monday, March 16, 2009

失去。收获

突然觉得,失去他,我似乎得了更多。
意料之外的收获。

我得到了我姐妹的支持。
让我跟她们更加的贴近。
第一次觉得,有女朋友真好!

我也得到了全家人的鼓励。
连最保守的爸爸,也给了我鼓励。
我以为他会一直假装不知道。
可是也许是我让他太过担心了
他忍不住就说出口了。呵

我也找回了“失散已久”的“好朋友”。
也许现在跟以前不会一样了。
可是我发现我的心变得开阔了。
因为,我可以原谅他曾经对我做的伤害。
我也曾经伤害过他。
所以,就算不可能回到过去了。
也至少不是陌生人吧。

虽然还有一个朋友,我是很想再度拥有的。
我做了努力。可是她不接受。
也许缘分尽了吧。

谢谢
逼我吃饭的哥哥。。。
陪我半夜谈心的姐姐。。。
陪我逛街又来我家陪我谈心怕我胡思乱想的姐姐。。。
在我发酒疯还耐性听我疯言疯语的姐姐。。。
还有好多人。。。

现在的我,看开了。
可是并没有完全痊愈。
所以不要动不动刺激我。
要不然我哭给你看。

我爱唱的伤心情歌
必须搁着一边了
要不然又。。。
换下曲风也好。。。
呵呵


惨了。。。
明天早上考试!
还有空在这里写blog...
好想睡哦。。。
救命!
><

我回来了!

我终于明白

我并不是
不够好
不够漂亮
不够有魅力
不够有价值

只是
我让自己变得廉价

我现在知道
我是有价值的
我会更爱自己了

谢谢你们
爸爸妈妈妹妹
不好意思
让你们担心了

也谢谢一直支持着我的朋友
不管你们之前骂我都好
念我都好
默默支持我的也好
真得很感谢你们对我的不离不弃

在他眼中我可能一文不值
可是我知道
在其他人眼里
我的眼里
我是最好的!!!
呵呵

自恋狂回来了!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

我想你

如果把痛说出来的话,真的会比较舒服吗?

我这几天一直在压抑,压抑着胸口那阵阵的痛,强颜欢笑地希望忙忙碌碌过着每一天,就可以忘记。可是,没有一件事情,能让我专心地完成,反而让我想起那些回忆。

结果,压抑下来的就是让自己情绪崩溃的结果。
哭啊哭啊。哭得累了就睡了。
睡啊睡的,却越睡越累,不想醒来。

Amy send 给我一首歌:下雨天。
真得让我哭的崩溃了。
眼泪不停。
好像要把我淹没了。
听着别人说:算了吧,别想太多。。。
听了几千遍了。。。
为什么,心却越来越痛。。。
原本打算放下的,现在却变得不想了。



歌曲:下雨天
歌手:南拳妈妈

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你
不敢打给你 我找不到原因
什么失眠的声音
变得好熟悉
沉默的场景 做你的代替
陪我听雨滴

期待让人越来越沉迷
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪
一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴


其实 没有我你分不出那些 差别
结局还能多明显
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉



昨天晚上下着大雨。
好冷,想起你那温暖的手。
听着这首歌,却发现自己抽泣的声音比雨声还要大声。
吃了好多甜食,不管会不会胖。
买了好多食物,就算自己不想吃。
跟好多人说了好多秘密。
这些,都没有用。
还是。好痛。。。




我好想你,
好想听见你的声音,却找不到打电话给你的原因。
好想看见你,却怕见到你会让我听见我心碎的声音。
你呢?
你现在,很开心吧?
我知道你喜欢一个人无忧无虑的生活。
为了让你开心,所以我选择离去。

对不起,我不够坚强。
对不起,我好没用。
连假装坚强和勇敢也不会。
对不起,只有哭累了,我才能入睡。

我真的,很想你。。。

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Japanese Cultural Night 09

Thanks a lot to my Sisterzzz... Puiyee and Karen!

Thanks for turning me into a glamorous star that night...^^
The girls suddenly transformed into my manager and nanny/escort during that night. Haha.
I felt so sweet to have them around me ...

Thanks for encouraging me...
Thanks for giving me confidence...
Thanks for teaching me how to face my problem...
Thanks for letting me know, I was imperfect too...
I will try to improve myself, no matter what is the outcome.
At least i tried it, So i won't have any regrets.
Thanks for everything that u gals done for me ... I love u muaks! hahaha...

I did give it my best shot on the stage that night.
At least I didn't cracked my voice. haha.

I finally fulfilled my dream.
Singing Japanese song on stage.
Singing Speed's song on stage.
Singing my idol's song that inspired me and leaded me to this music path...

I m grateful to Hanfu for giving me this opportunity.
Thanks to my band members that help me to complete the songs...
No matter what happened at down stage, I will never forget the moments on stage.
I won't let anybody, anything affects my performance on stage.
Because

それは私の夢だった!


Share some photo here ^^

My guardian angels ^^



PuiYee so Proud of her work. Always busy tidying my hair all the time. haha




I love this Pic... Emo~ LOL



White Love- Speed


God knows- Hirano Aya

冲凉

你知道吗,在舒舒服服冲凉冲香香后。。。
最讨厌的事情。。。
就是

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我又忘记拿毛巾了!>.<'''

Monday, March 2, 2009

我的战利品


Ah, i love it at 1st sight, i bought in without any consideration.. As it is cheap too ... ^^


Ermm... it is a pair of purple socks actually, i wonder why it turn out to be blue in the picture.><
Well, is this called vest? or ... whatever. It is just my style ... haha... cheap but nice stuff ^^


Finally, my 1st short jeans! Ha, i finally can wear shorts...


Dress!! Recently i fall in love with dress. So cute right? kaka ... somemore its the 1st tube dress that i had...



My long waited boots. Finally, I get it! WooowW! i love it so much that i cant wait to wear it just after i bought it.




Card Reader! Cute right? I choose for so long as there re hundred kinds of card reader on the shelf LOL


ahhh... too bad i cant get my punk rock skirt today. i wonder why every shop in times square don let customer try out the skirt ... grrrr >< how i know whether i look good in the skirt or not if i dun try it LOL...